Daily Reflections

If you would like to receive these daily reflections (written by various parishioners) in your email box each day, contact darcy.wharton@rocklincatholic.org

We are now selling a year's worth of our own parishioner's Daily Reflections in a wonderful book entitled, "The Chimes".  You can purchase a copy in the parish office for $10.  Makes a great gift!


































Reflections for August 8 - 14, 2022

August 8, 2022 - Asking God to Be Present Is Bad Theology

Did that get your attention?? I recently heard Lucy Abbot Tucker, a renown spiritual director, say this.  And I realized, she is right.  Asking God to help us be present to God’s presence would be more accurate, perhaps more appropriate.  God doesn’t need us to call Him to come down from afar.  God is right here, always. And yet… our liturgy and our prayers have some beautiful expressions of our calling.  We sing, send down your Spirit at Pentecost… one of my favorite liturgies.  We pray, “Lord, hear our prayer” at every Mass. Does God need us to remind Him to hear us?  No, but perhaps we need to be able to say these words to remind us that God does hear us. 
There is a children’s book that I have always loved called, Mama, Do You Love Me?  Throughout the book, the child asks, Mama, do you love me? And the mother replies, I will always love you. The child continues, even if I… (and she lists lots of naughty things) would you love me?  The mother continues to affirm her love and in the last line, the mother says, “I will love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.”  In our intimate relationship with our Beloved, we call out, Lord come to us!  And God says, I am already here.  We cry out Mama, Papa, do you love me? And God replies, I love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 9, 2022 - What Does It Mean to Be a Synodal Church?
Several months ago, together with many of you, I participated in a process of coming together to discern, how is the Spirit calling us as Church? This was an invitation from Pope Francis and something that is being embraced all around the world.  Many of us mistakenly paraphrased this invitation by saying, the Pope and the Bishop want to know what we think… they want our opinions. I think we miss the depth of meaning with this understanding.  Pope Francis is reminding us of what we already are, what was confirmed in Vatican II.  We are a synodal Church, the body of Christ that journeys together and discerns the Spirit’s movement in us collectively. The Spirit is active in you and me and invites us to listen in the depths of our hearts for where God is leading us.  The Church is not frozen in time, but alive with the Spirit.  As I participated in the listening sessions, I heard people’s hopes and dreams; and I felt their pain and frustration.  It is hard being Church!  Being synodal means we journey together, with each other and with God.  We listen for the Spirit moving in and among us. And we are surprised sometimes that God’s ways are not our ways. God always invites us to more.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 10, 2022 - On Holding Space
As a spiritual companion, I have been challenged to learn the difference between offering advice or even sympathy and holding space.  Holding space means being present—fully present to another, without directing or advising or catechizing.  These other forms of companioning have their place in a different context, but not here.  There is a unique space that is created when I can be present to someone without judgment or expectation.  It is a form of deep listening with the whole body.  I experience God providing that kind of presence to me sometimes in prayer.  Advice doesn’t come, expectations are not spoken.  God is just present, waiting patiently while the seeds he planted in me germinate.  Waiting like a lover who honors my independence.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 11, 2022 - Wounded Healer
I have recently been intrigued with the term “wounded healer.” It is a concept that serendipitously keeps showing up in books I’m reading, prayers I find, etc. I have always found comfort and a little awe in the Gospel readings where the resurrected Jesus appears with his wounds. The wounds did not disappear, they are not even scars, they are wounds that one can put a hand in. I think that is significant and something I need to pay attention to. For me it confirms what I experience in life. Challenges, suffering and loss are often not avoided or removed by prayer. Instead, I am helped to move through these times. I am accompanied and strengthened.  And as a result, I grow and become more genuine and compassionate in the process, and I carry my wounds.  I learn to trust God in a life that is unpredictable and out of my control.  Wounded healers are people who can be with each other in mutual awareness of our hurting humanness. We do not rescue each other, but compassionately call on each other’s inner strength and faith in God’s accompaniment.  We support each other not in a pity party, but as soul friends who have experienced life’s trials, grown in wisdom, patience and trust in God as a result of the roads we have walked.  That’s the kind of companion I want when I’m facing challenges.  A wounded healer. 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 12, 2022 - Claiming Our Shadow
Listening to the news, I caught myself saying, “What a self-righteous jerk!” I have a whole list of people I find distasteful. Then slowly, something dawns on me. I remember a couple of scripture passages…something about a wooden beam and a splinter, something about casting stones…  Our human tendency is to see the things we don’t like about ourselves in other people. In psychology it is called projecting our shadow.  I’m quite good at this. I can be very judgmental about judgmental people, narrowly critical of people I perceive as narrow thinkers. What is fascinating is how hard it is to catch myself!

There’s a lot of shadow projection going on these days. It is reflected in our deep divide as a culture and our conflicts with friends and neighbors.  Jesus said to take the beam out of your own eye so you can see to help your neighbor with his splinter. How do I do that? I’m learning the challenging process of noticing when someone really pushes my buttons.  When there’s a lot of emotion raised in me, particularly by people I don’t even know well, I ask myself what inner part of me is like that? What areas of myself do I need to recognize and work on?
Our healing and wholeness come in recognizing our full selves, including the aspects of ourselves we don’t like very much—our shadows. In recognizing and claiming my shadow, I humbly understand my weaknesses and invite God’s healing transformation.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 13, 2022 - On Being “Good”
Thomas Merton said, the hardest group to convert are those who identify as good. As Christians, I think our challenge is to do good works, but not to get to thinking we are good (or better). As I think about the temptation of “being good,” a few things come to mind. First is “good enough.” Do I, do we, get comfortable with certain patterns of prayer, worship, and charity so that my experience as a disciple feels good enough, a box to check along with the rest of my to do list? Second, good can also means self-righteous. It is always a comparison to others who are “more or less good.” “Good people” can easily become code for “people like me, people who share my values…” That’s a slippery slope. I can easily end up associating “good” with my tribe, my cultural expression of spirituality, my country, my political party… It becomes quite insular. Finally, good can imply a God who keeps score. Suddenly we are earning something, even if on an unconscious level. “I’ve been good and faithful, how could God let this happened to me?”
 
In the Gospels Jesus seems to always be connecting with people who are on the margins of goodness.  I used to think it was to bring them into the fold of the “good people.” Now I don’t think so. Perhaps it was to show us that we are ALL on the margins and all in need of his loving work in us—always.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio
 

August 14, 2022 - God’s Presence in Hard Times
As I write this, I am on retreat at the Mercy Center with Brother Don Bisson. We are talking about living in God‘s presence during times of deepening shadow. Deepening shadow certainly represents how I have experienced many things in our world of late.  Life seems full of so many divisions, full of selfishness, violence, and despair. How do I participate as the body of Christ in the midst of these challenging times? Here’s some of what I’m learning: I need to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Healthy anxiety, or healthy suffering, shares in the experience of the world’s suffering.  It does not seek an escape.  It is the capacity to show up in our reality even though it is hard. It invites me to speak the truth even when it’s not popular and to let my discomfort with the brokenness in the world prompt me to ask, where is this pulling me? How is God asking me to respond? What is mine to do?  Unhealthy anxiety becomes helplessness and hopelessness, and it can collude with evil. I am learning a healthy response requires spending time in prayer and silence, spending time in sacred space, and spending time with people in community. It means following Jesus and His values rather than the values of the world and making sure that my actions in life are grounded in Gospel values.  And of course, it means knowing that I do not do any of this without God’s grace.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio



Reflections for August 1 - 7, 2022

August 1, 2022 - Emmanuel

If you read the title of this and assumed I was talking about Emmanuel, “God with us”, you were mistaken. Emmanuel is an emu that has taken over the internet, photobombing his owner’s TikTok videos. Emmanuel’s videos were shared across all the internet platforms and I laughed every time I saw one. The videos are sweet, wholesome and funny, and are a reminder that the internet can be full of joy! What was most interesting to me though was the variety of people I saw posting Emmanuel’s videos; they were people young and old, both extremes of the political spectrum, and of varying faith backgrounds. After years of divisive posts and extreme polarities, it seems that a photobombing emu brought people together, if only for a few short weeks on the internet. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is about God with us after all.
Erin Gallawa




August 2, 2022 – Snorkel

Last month we took a family vacation to Hawaii. One of the days we went on a snorkeling trip. Initially one of my daughters didn’t want to snorkel, so she just jumped in with a noodle to splash around. After only a few minutes in the water she predictably regretted this decision and decided to snorkel. The first profound moment for me happened when Ana handed back her pool noodle and the employee asked me if she was ok to swim without a floatation device. I immediately answered that she was a strong swimmer and I surprised myself when I realized how it true it was. I don’t know when she became capable, but this was the moment I knew it. I spent the next 45 minutes chasing her around the bay. It was the best part of my vacation—watching my daughter use her confident, capable body to navigate in the ocean and explore underwater. She even dove below the surface with me to see things up closer! I stopped looking at fish and was only watching my daughter as she experienced a new world around her. My greatest joy wasn’t what was under the water—it was watching her see it. How wonderful it must be for God to recognize what we are capable of and watch as we delight in the world around us!
Erin Gallawa



August 3, 2022 – Home

I feel like I have written dozens of reflections about water, but I have such a strong connection that I am always thinking of the way water is present in my life. My longing for the water feels primal; I feel called to the water and I have a strong urge to immerse myself in it. I cannot be near water without at least washing my hands and I will walk right into the river with my shoes and socks on. When we went to Hawaii last month we took a hike to the ocean. After a few miles on the exposed lava fields of the Big Island, my daughter Grace ran straight for the water. She sat on the edge of the water as the waves rolled over her, again and again. I looked at her and knew that she, too, felt at home in the water. It’s not about liking to swim. It is about feeling connected and at peace. I love to look at water, but more I love to be IN the water, as does she. God lovingly created the waters of the earth and I am blessed to be at home among them.
Erin Gallawa



August 4, 2022 – Knowing

One of the strangest parts of parenting in the last few years has been realizing that my kids know things that I did not teach them. There were so many early years of their life when their whole world experience was what they saw and learned from me, my husband and the small handful of people who cared for them. One day they came home from a day with my mom saying, “Whatcha talking ‘bout Willis?” It was a surprising question from a toddler, but an entertaining one! That was just the beginning of my children learning outside our home!

At age 11, my kids have been in school for years now, are avid readers, and have discovered YouTube, so I should not be surprised when they know about the Greek gods or can tell me strange facts about ocean creatures. Yet, I am constantly surprised by what they know and can do. “Wonder and awe” is one of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit for helping us to recognize the glory of God. But I can’t help but ponder myself if God looks down upon us, His own creation, with wonder and awe at what we, His creation, can do and know.
Erin Gallawa



August 5, 2022 – Feet of Jesus

In a recent Gospel reading we heard about Mary and Martha. While Martha was busy serving, Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. I was struck by the image of Mary at the feet and began to wonder who else would have sat at Jesus’ feet. Surely it would have been women and children, or other humble people who would take any place, no matter how lowly, to be near to him. I don’t think of sitting at someone’s feet as a place of honor. Sitting at someone’s feet feels like an act of humility and openness. It reminds me of something children do, gathered close so they can see and hear unobstructed. When I think of Mary in this place, I think of a woman whose heart is so open to God that she would accept even the humblest position to be present to the word. Does my pride prevent me from coming to sit at the feet of Jesus? Am I open to hearing the word even in places I am not used to listening to him?
Erin Gallawa



August 6, 2022 – Smell

I walked past a Free Little Library one evening while I was walking my dog. It was already dark so I was surprised to see that it was lit up by happy little twinkly lights. Through the glass I couldn’t see any books I was interested in, but I opened the door anyway and I was overcome by the smell; the smell of books, the smell of my childhood, the smell of old, loved paper. When I think of books, my initial thought is that they are visual. We read them with our eyes and then create images in our head. I don’t usually associate the sense of smell with reading, but the smell of those books made me think of staying up late into the night, reading books in near darkness when I should have been sleeping. Smell evokes such strong memories. I think of some of the smells of the Church—incense, the Chrism oil my children were anointed with in Baptism, the way the church building itself smells. All of these smells connect me to people, places and liturgical celebrations. Each of our senses is a gift. Today I am grateful for the gift of smell.
Erin Gallawa



August 7, 2022 – Hospitality at the Door

When anyone leaves my parents’ house, my dad and mom (and sometimes the dog, too!) walk out to the front porch to say goodbye. It is not just a quick goodbye. It is a lingering until the car is backed out and we have driven down the long driveway. Often they will sit on the front steps and remain there. A few weeks ago Deacon David talked about hospitality in his homily, and this image of my parents saying goodbye is what immediately came to my mind. My parents’ hospitality is not just for the moments we were invited there to share—this slow, lingering goodbye is like taking home a piece of their hospitality with us. There is a spirit in the way they open their home and so graciously serve others; their goodbye is an extension of that gift.

I think about how Father stands outside after Mass to greet parishioners and say goodbye before we leave, and it reminds me of this same type of goodbye. It is full of gratitude for the time we have spent together and a peaceful farewell until we are together again. May the spirit of service and hospitality fill us all until we gather again!
Erin Gallawa

Reflections for July 25 - 31, 2022

July 25, 2022 - Proximity
The book entitled “The Proximity Principle” talks about how to position yourself near the right people and places to get the career you love. Surrounding yourself with the 5 different types of people in your desired field can help you become successful. They are the Professor (those who teach), The Professional (those who made it), the Mentor (those who help guide you), Your Peers (those who challenge you through competition) and The Producers (These are the risk takers that build opportunities). I have all these types of people in my career, and they help me move forward. You may be wondering what this has to do with a reflection, well it does not matter what aspect of your life you are looking at, the Proximity Principle works with all of it. With the different ministries like Wake Up, L.O.V.E, RCIA, Music Ministry, Bible Study and more, I have these 5 types in each ministry, and they all help me grow in my spiritual life. Listening to and reading different scholars helps me understand my faith, but it is from my peers that I gain the most. We push and support each other to be better Catholic Christians and I learn so much from their example. Lord, Thank you for these men and women in my life.
Kurt Peterson

July 26, 2022 - Calling
In the RCIA catechumens and candidates receive a sponsor who helps them through the process. And for many, the sponsor becomes a part of their lives forever. A couple of years ago, one candidate was assigned a sponsor and a true friendship began. They quite often stayed in touch and recently when the man and his wife started having serious health problems, his sponsor and wife were there to help them in so many ways. I know when this person said yes to being a sponsor, he never dreamed to what extent answering that call would lead him, which is what makes this even more special. This sponsor and his wife are true Christians in my eyes, and they hold the true meaning of community in their hearts. I have seen this type of connection in the RCIA program many times over the years. I really believe it is the Holy Spirit that choses the sponsor for these men and women; we are just His instrument in facilitating it. If you have ever thought about being a sponsor just let us know. And if you have been chosen to be a sponsor, remember it is not us that are choosing but the Holy Spirit that is choosing you.
Kurt Peterson

July 27, 2022 - Father’s Day
Last month we celebrated Father’s Day and I had most of my children with me. Even though my son was not able to come out from NYC I still had a wonderful day. We all gathered at a local brewery and talked and laughed but the highlight of the day was when my wife took a picture of me with our seven grandchildren. My grandchildren’s ages range from the oldest of almost 12 years to the two babies. I had them all gathered around me and held the babies on each arm. It kind of looks like one of those photos you would have seen from 100 years ago. Every time I look at that picture, I just feel so blessed to have all of them and their parents in my life and so close to us. That picture also reminds me that I will do nothing in my life that is more important or that will compare to creating a family. Psalms 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”  Thank you, God, for you have truly blessed me, for my children are my heritage.
Kurt Peterson

July 28, 2022 - Life Happens
As many of you know a couple of weeks ago Darcy Wharton was in a terrible accident and was in the hospital for a few days. When I saw the picture of the car I saw how differently things could have been if the other car had hit her exactly where she was sitting. It was startling. We all get busy with our lives and don’t always express what the people in our lives mean to us. We always expect to see each other, but that is not always the case. We do not know the time or day when any of us will join Christ. In an instant I could have lost a very dear friend forever. As I get older, friends from my past are no longer here, and I didn’t let them know what they meant to me. Fortunately, Sarah and I will be able to have more time with Darcy, but I will not forget to let the people I love know that I love them. If you are like me, don’t miss the opportunity to let the people in your lives  know how much you care.
Kurt Peterson

July 30, 2022 - Izzy
In the early days of Covid when we were all quarantining, we got a small cockapoo, part Cocker Spaniel and part Poodle, and we have never been happier. She is such a loving dog, especially with our grandchildren. She brings joy to our lives every day and Izzy is a great example of unconditional love.  She greets my mother-in law, who lives with us, every morning and stays around her while Sarah and I are gone during the day. No matter what the day has been like, she is always happy to see us. I watch her in the back yard where she will lay down in the sun. I can imagine her taking in everything around her and just being content with what she has. Am I content with what I have? Our society tends to be in constant pursuit of things and we are rarely content with what we have. There are also so many things for us to be concerned about right now, but Jesus tells me do not worry or be afraid.  In Mathew 6:26-29 Jesus says to look at nature and see how God cares for it, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap, nor gather in barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than them?” Jesus also tells me: “Do not worry about the next day, because tomorrow will be worried for itself. Enough for the day is its own problem” (Mt 6:34). I can learn from nature and our pets about how to live. Jesus is not saying that I should not sow or reap or be prepared for things, but he is saying that it must not consume me.  I must trust God!
Kurt Peterson



July 30, 2022 - Unresolved
Sometimes at Mass we will end a song differently then we normally do. The song will end unresolved. This means that the ending note did not resolve the melody. I like it when music does that because it feels like the song did not finish. It is as if the song continues, much like life itself. We transition from stage to stage. Infancy, childhood, young adulthood, adulthood and elderhood and in each stage our song continues unresolved into the next stage, adding to our song. Tempos may change, new variations occur, however, it is still the same song, the song of our life. We will add to it and subtract from it until the time comes when we pass from this life to where our song will finally resolve itself when we meet God. There our song becomes part of the great heavenly composition created by the Great Composer. When that time comes, I pray that my song will be pleasing to God.   
Kurt Peterson

7/31/22   The James Web Telescope
Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth”. We are given an opportunity that no other person in human history had before. With the images that are being sent back from the James Web telescope, that is traveling through space, we are seeing the earliest images from the beginning of the universe. We may well be seeing in pictures the words of Genesis 1:1. The images that have come through so far are just amazing. Normally when we look up into the sky, we see darkness and small lights. Even though that alone shows us God’s awesomeness, these photos will show us a wonderous array of colors and shapes. No wonder he is called the Grand Painter. This is a great opportunity for me to develop a deeper understanding of God’s creation. Science has always been a part of faith for He gave us not only the ability but the yearning to understand our world and beyond. Science and faith go hand and hand. The father of the big bang theory was a Belgian Catholic priest and many of the great men that advanced discoveries in botany, physics, mathematics, biology, and astronomy were Catholics priest and friars. We believe that learning about God’s creation helps us to understand God. So, I hope you take the time to look at these pictures coming to us to see what  1Chronicles 29:11 says, “Yours, LORD, are greatness and might, majesty, victory, and splendor. For all in heaven and on earth is yours; yours, LORD, is kingship; you are exalted as head over all.”  
Kurt Peterson

July 18, 2022 - Signs from God (Ref MT 12:38-42)  The scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” He replied, “an evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, ….” For a faithful generation, signs from God are already there.  They are countless; some will be simple and natural, but some will be special and great. But seeking signs from God in order to believe in Him is a sin of arrogance and it comes from an unfaithful person. One should open the senses to perceive what is already existing. There are plenty of ways God has blessed me for which I am so grateful.

There was an incident of saving my life in the form of a phone call. For some it may seem a coincidence, but for me it was God’s action and one of His special signs. A few years ago, on vacation while visiting my sister, I stopped my car at a manned rail crossing to take a phone call. Suddenly, an electric shock passed through my veins as I saw a train passing through the open rail gate. If I had not stopped the car to take THAT phone call, I would have been dead. Yes, it was a lifesaving moment. 

God, I truly believe that every moment of my life is a gift to me.  Help me to open my senses to aware of Your graces and blessings around me. 
Bony

July 19, 2022 - God’s Family (Ref. MT 12:46-50)
And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
Jesus revealed to the world a truth which was unknown till then:  we are God’s family when doing His will. The disciples left everything at his call and were with him in formation to do his mission. 

Everything I do in this world should be pleasing God. This was the basic catechism taught in our family.  We are his disciples called to do God’s will in our various vocations and given responsibilities. We have a biological family that can be God’s family when every action is pleasing to Him. 

Four years ago, as I neared my 25^th anniversary of priestly ordination, I asked my mother for her opinion about having a family celebration. Her first response was, “it is important to celebrate it with your parish family where you are called to serve.” And she was right that SSPP is my family of God. I am so thankful to SSPP for celebrating my 25th anniversary of ordination with me. We are God’s family. I was reminded that we are God’s family, we are not alone in difficult situations and we keep the spirit of being God’s family in all our endeavors.
Bony

July 20, 2022 - Rich Soil for Abundant Fruit (Ref. MT 13:1-9)
“But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirty-fold.”
While God sows the seed (His word) generously it is our responsibility to keep the soil (ourselves) rich. God the farmer, who owns us and entrusts us with personal responsibility, gives us wide opportunities to keep the soil rich and productive.

Many guided me in this process of cultivating good soil in my life.  In my childhood days it was my grandfather, parents and schoolteachers, and in later years it was seminary formation, spiritual directors etc., - I am so thankful to many for keeping me on track.
Spiritual discipline with determination and motivation can help oneself be the fertile soil for good produce. Lifelong care is needed for the soil to keep it fertile and to have abundant yields. The times I fail due to negligence and weakness, I have opportunities to amend my ways through the sacrament of reconciliation, spiritual direction and retreats.
Every farmer knows how to give the constant care that is needed to keep the soil fertile. With the help of God’s grace, I want to keep my heart ready and prepared to receive his words so that they produce good fruits. 
Bony


July 21, 2022 – The Insight (Ref. MT 13:10-17) 
“They look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.” When the disciples asked Jesus why he spoke to the crowd in parables, Jesus quoted this from prophet Issaih. At the end of the conversation Jesus said to the disciples, “but blessed are your eyes, because they see and your ears, because they hear.”
The disciples understood Jesus for they were with him.After I had joined the seminary, in my sophomore year I met Mathai, a classmate from school, who said to me sarcastically that Jesus did not have a seminary. His family had already left the Catholic Church and embraced another denomination. I admired that he could quote the bible often to establish his stand against the church. I was unable to debate with him but I told him that Jesus had disciples walking with him. He had a grin on his face, unconvinced.

Later, during my 11 years of seminary formation I realized the courses and studies on philosophy and theology, spirituality and disciplinary life were all important but the most important was walking with Jesus and having Jesus in every moment of life. And completing the seminary life and priestly ordination is not the end, as I continue my journey with Jesus. Being with him I am able to see, hear and understand.
Bony

July 22, 2022 - Mary Magdalene (Ref. Jen 20:1-2, 11-18) 
Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found the tombstone removed.The Risen Christ appeared to her. She went and announced to the disciples “I have seen the Lord.”
Mary Magdalene’s visit to Jesus’ tomb reflects her emotional attachment to Jesus. I have witnessed the same emotional attachment to Jesus especially in my grandfather and my mother. Their relationships with Jesus have inspired me very much (a lot). I have seen my mother praying all the time for us; and spending a lot of time in prayer even today. Nonverbally, she is telling her children that she has seen the Lord. Whenever I lift the Holy bread in consecration announcing the Body of Christ, despite my unworthiness, I am blessed to have him in my hands. He lives in me as I receive him in communion; he is attached to me physically and emotionally. He lives in me and in you because we have seen the Lord.
Bony


July 23, 2022 - Good and Evil (Ref. Matthew 13:24-30) 
The Kingdom of Heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed but an enemy sowed weeds in darkness. The good Sower allows the weeds to grow along with the wheat to protect it “let them grow together until harvest.”
Jesus reminds us that the reality of the world is the presence of good and evil; something we experience and worry about much of the time. We learn from the parable that wheat remains as wheat even when it grows with weeds.  By growing with weeds, it has more resistance and God gives it strength not to be damaged. Sometimes we are also pressed hard to survive but we do not lose our connection to God. My conviction in the values I was raised with never gets corrupted, even when there is an inclination to bend it; then I pray hard for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

It is a given truth that the good and evil exist side by side, and it is our choice to choose life or death (Ref. Deut. 30:15).
Bony


July 24, 2022 - Persistent in prayer (Ref. Lk 11:1-13) 
On a request by the disciples Jesus taught them the Lord’s Prayer. Then he revealed to them who the Heavenly Father is: a compassionate friend and a loving father who knows what his children need in life. 
Our human life is mostly focused on our wants instead of what we need in life. When I was a young child, the exam times in school were very stressful and my prayer was always to have a great score - wanting to have the questions being asked come from what I had studied. One time I asked my grandfather for some pennies to offer at the Church to do well in exams. Instead, my grandfather, who was a teacher by profession, told me to prepare well and pray for the grace to perform well as guided by the Holy Spirit. Our family had a candle lit the whole day on the family altar when something very important was going on in the family, like major exams, interviews and even celebrations. The lit candle reminded all in the family to pray for the intention and that we were all praying for a special cause.

I must pray persistently! God will provide me with what I need for he is a loving father and a compassionate friend. 
Bony

Reflections for July 11-17, 2022

July 11, 2022 - Summer
The season has changed from mild to hot, not just warm, but hot.  As my Mom used to say “…hotter than the gates of Hades.”  I, as a person raised in Southern California, am obliged to say that I like it this way.  Back then I was only an hour away from the blue Pacific and I would go there as often as possible to swim, lay out, get a sunburn and wait for a great tan long before sunscreen or warnings about skin cancer.  That was also when I was ignorant about God and didn’t worry about those gates Mom referred to.  Here I am now, decades later, wondering about the dark splotches on my skin and also wondering about the dark spots that might be on my soul.  Fortunately, I have come to know the efficacy of sunscreen and my dermatologist says the skin spots are not worrisome.  I have also gotten consolation from others who have told me that I have been absolved of those dark spots on my soul.  So here I am, free to enjoy the sun and heat because (aside from the wisdom of age) the Son has shone brightly and given me new life in Him.  I can welcome the heat.          
Deacon David

July 12, 2022 - Have it Your Way
I’m pretty sure that most of you have heard that line from a hamburger commercial.  When I order at that establishment, I do tell the counter worker just how I want my burger to be constructed.  I like cheese and onions but I try to impress the idea that the sauce/mayo that they usually use in copious amounts is not the way I prefer it.  I say something like “…just a little sauce/mayo”.  Somehow that part doesn’t get communicated to the person assembling the burger so that the sauce “runneth over”.  To be fair there was once an older lady counter worker who got what I said and made me happy but she has gone.  So let me extrapolate to what I think God might be asking when placing his order at mass where I presume to receive His body and blood. I think He wants me to be aware of how I serve Him.  Onions and a bit of cheese are O.K. but the sauce/sin should not be running over.  Any sin can be cleaned up before eating by reconciliation and penance.  Sure, I can go to a different burger joint but I like the taste of the one I reference.  I cannot, will not go elsewhere to consume God because He does it my way.                                      
Deacon David

July 13, 2022 - Reminders
My Insurance Company (You’re in Good Hands) sends an annual request for the current mileage on our vehicles to judge how much to charge for the coming year.  I’m surprised by the yearly totals and wonder where in the world did we go to rack up all those miles.  This yearly exercise reminds me of the mileage on my aging body and I wonder, as with the car mileage, where I’ve been and what I’ve done.  Truthfully, those bodily miles seem to take a bit more of my energy year to year.  That, of course, leads me to think about the spiritual miles I’ve gone during the past year and that gives me a chance to reflect and/or meditate on that journey.  When I think about spiritual journeys of past years, I’m led to think about people I’ve met and talked with, especially those who have gone through the RCIA and joined the Catholic Church.  Their journeys, like mine, have been those of growth and involvement and that reminds me that I have miles and miles to go.   
Deacon David

July 14, 2022 - What’s in Your Wallet?
A couple of weeks ago there was a special collection for what is known as Peter’s Pence.  The funds collected are remitted to the Pope for his distribution to various needs in the world.  And those needs are not specifically related to Catholics.  The Pope(s) recognize all people, regardless of religious affiliation, who are in need.  That the Pope would recognize all people as sisters and brothers emanating from God the Father is a great lesson and example to me.  Our parish also lives that example in maintaining a fund for people who approach the church for help with monetary needs, food needs and spiritual needs.  No one is turned away or asked their religious affiliation.   I wondered, when the basket came around, just how much to put in.  A couple of bucks?  Then I remembered the parable of the widow’s mite and how she put all she had in the collection while those who had much money gave out of their excess and did not follow the widow’s example of sacrifice.  So I pondered for a moment, thought about the widow again and emptied my wallet.  I say this not to extol my gift but to try to put myself in the shoes of those in need.  The next time that I see the commercial that asks “what’s in your wallet” I will remember that what is in my wallet is there because God has given me an abundance and that I, along with the Pope, have a responsibility to those who have so much less.   What’s in your wallet?
Deacon David

July 15, 2022 - Recharging
Truth be told, I am dependent upon my iPhone, as much as I don’t want to admit it. I go through a daily ritual of plugging it into an electric outlet so as not to miss any messages and to be able to (confession time) play the word game I like a lot.  Of course, I tell myself that I NEED to be available to my wife, children and parishioners so I carry the iPhone around with me, even when driving, so I won’t miss a call.  No, I don’t answer it while driving but I do pull over to check out who is calling.  At the end of the day, I liken myself to the iPhone in that I need recharging. So what do I do?  I reflect upon the day, wondering if I have fulfilled the task that God has put before me that day.  Have I omitted something I should’ve or could’ve done to help another? This question then reminds me that I have to, indeed must, plug into God and recharge.  As much as my iPhone needs electricity, I need prayer to plug into my source of strength and purpose: God.
Deacon David

July 16, 2022 - Affirmation
Way back when I worked in a California State prison as a counselor, I attended many training sessions; amongst them was one which encouraged us to reflect upon the positive aspects of our lives in relation to our jobs as well as daily life.  We were told to write reminders of those affirmative aspects on post-its and put those notes up in places where we’d see them often to help us stay positive.  I poo-pooed that advice as some new age fad but now, as I’ve done a tiny bit of maturing, I think that there is value in reminding myself, and others, that God has given gifts and talents to be shared and used not only for myself but to benefit others.  I don’t use post-it notes to affirm those God given attributes but I engage in a bit more prayer of thanks for the opportunities which I am able to respond to each day.  I like to affirm my faith foremost when I join my voice to those of others in the congregation at mass saying, “I believe in One God….” It is my hope that you too will find affirmation in the faith we share, with or without post-it notes.                                     
Deacon David

July 17 - Reflections
I am amongst numerous others in the parish who write about our thoughts relative to the faith we share as Catholics.  I won’t lie to you, it is increasingly difficult for me to come up with new thoughts and topics as I’ve been doing this for about four years.  I marvel at those wonderful book writing people such as Richard Rohr who have done reflections for not just years but decades.  Just as I was writing this, I got up to get a glass of water and passed by a mirror.  I stopped and looked at my reflection in that mirror and wondered “…what is God asking?” God has, through others, given me the opportunity to share my faith on a very basic level via these reflections, not as deep as Fr. Rohr’s, but simply mine.  So I’ll continue to struggle and plumb the depths of my experiences, the ones God has given me to reflect upon and offer for your reflection.  Perhaps I could recommend to you that the next time you take a look in the mirror that you reflect on what God is asking of you.
 Deacon David

Reflections for July 4-10, 2022
July 4, 2022 – One Nation Under God
Last month we spent some time in Concord, MA and had the opportunity to visit the Minutemen museum and North Bridge.  This is the location of the “shot heard around the world” and the first battle of the American Revolution.  During the presentation we were informed that the families of the soldiers on both sides may very well have known each other just a generation prior to the battle.  I had never considered that possibility.  In the colonists’ noble desire to break free and create a free country, a great number of lives were lost.
Today we celebrate our country.  Despite a bloody beginning and serious struggles along the way, we have maintained a belief in a country that embraces “liberty and justice for all”.  Let us celebrate those times when we have worked toward this goal and may we strive to live peacefully as “one nation under God”.        Darcy Wharton

July 5, 2022 – Let Us Mourn and Let us Dance
I recently came across a quote from Henry Nouwen which stated, “Let us mourn and let us dance”.  He was referring to the need to feel all the emotions of life.  It dawned on me that I spend most of my life somewhere in the middle of those extremes and often intentionally avoid spending any prolonged time mourning or dancing.  What might it be like to live the “extremes” of life?  There are certainly appropriate times to do both. 
I can recall many times when I chose not to dance publicly so as not to embarrass my kids or myself.  There were other times when I avoided mourning publicly to make others more comfortable.  What moments of shared humanity may have been lost due to my decisions? 
Perhaps God is stretching us to live at the edges more often!                                                                           Darcy Wharton

July 6, 2022 – Generosity
My husband and I were both sick with Covid last month after traveling and I was overwhelmed with the number of people who checked on us daily and offered to do grocery shopping, drop off a meal, pick up medication, etc. 
I know I’m not alone with my struggle to accept help.  Many of you have shared your own struggles with this.  However, I was sent a quote from author Wendy Farley which states “the good God often lets his friends fall sick so that every prop they lean on or might cling to may give way.”  Well certainly one “prop” I was holding on to was the idea that I did not need help!
Receiving from generous souls reminded me that God will use anything – health, sickness, our life’s daily events and more- to shower us with love.  What a generous God we have!                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 7, 2022- Revel in the Joy
If you’re a parent, you are aware that it is both a great responsibility and a great joy.  Most days are a mix of both, especially in the early years of parenting.  Now that our daughters are all young adults, we are in a unique position to just “watch” them from a distance.  They have all moved out and are creating their own adult lives.  My job as a parent has shifted and I am trying to catch myself when I feel the need to give unsolicited advice or to “fix” things that I feel need correction.  Fairly recently, I intentionally switched my focus to trying to revel in the joys of their lives instead of looking for ways to influence their decisions.  That is not easy!  However, focusing on what is good and right in their lives makes discovering the joy all that much easier.  We see what we are hoping to find!
It seems that Jesus did not focus as much on the mistakes of his followers but instead challenged them to grow closer to him through relationship. 
I will continue to try to revel in the joys of each of my daughters.  And as one of my daughters told me, my voice is already in their heads anyway!                                                                                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 8, 2022 – Just Follow
On a recent trip to Boston to visit our daughter Sarah, we discovered that she had created a very busy itinerary for us.  We had previously been to the area three other times, but there were things she wanted us to experience.  She crammed more things to do in each day than we ever would have attempted!  I finally stopped trying to figure out if I could keep up and just decided to follow her lead.  When I was feeling tired from all the walking (over 22,000 steps on one day in particular), she would simply say, “You can do it, Mom!”  Although I questioned if she had a realistic understanding of my physical abilities, I decided to trust her, and we had a wonderful time. 
Trusting.  Following.  These things are supposed to be basic Christian attitudes and yet they can be so difficult.   This experience helped me remember that yes, trust is difficult, but the payoff is worth it when I am following a person I trust. 
Jesus, I trust in you.                                                                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

July 9, 2022 – The Gift of Godparents
Last month, I received the surprising news that my godmother had died. My godfather had died a few years prior.  When I say I hit the jackpot of godparents, I am quite serious.  They filled their home with love and laughter and I have fond memories as a child of being welcomed warmly at every visit.  They never missed one of my sacraments and my godmother was even a lector at our wedding.  Over the years, she left the Catholic faith to join an evangelical Church but she eventually returned.   She even watched our online Masses during the pandemic although she lived in Manteca. 
The lesson in all of this is to never underestimate the importance of godparents in a child’s life.  Done well, it can have a tremendous impact.  Her parting message to me (four days before she died) was to thank me for my constant love.  I returned the greeting and will never forget how she modeled the unconditional love of God.  May she, and all the others in heaven who were wonderful godparents, rest in peace.                Darcy Wharton

July 10, 2022 – The Good Sam Club
When I was a child, our family would occasionally take a summer road trip to go camping.  We graduated from tent camping to a small trailer.  Since these were the days before smart devices and DVD players in vehicles, my brother and I would play all sorts of travelling road games.  We also spent countless hours just staring out the window, something I don’t think any of our children experienced.
I recall seeing Good Sam stickers on various RVs on the road.  My parents told me that the sticker indicated that the people belonged to a travel assistance club.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that the company’s name was a play on words and referenced the story of the Good Samaritan.  How clever!  Our family never joined the organization but as Catholics we were already members of the “Good Sam” club.  This famous gospel message reminds us of the importance of doing the right thing (showing mercy) regardless of any societal or cultural norms that may encourage us to do otherwise.  How many times have I ignored people in need or justified my lack of a merciful response?
These “simple” stories pack a powerful punch!                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

Reflections for June 27-July 3, 2022
June 27, 2022 – The Power of Hugs

I was recently reading about the effects of stress on our bodies and how we can continue to physically hold stress even after the stressor has come and gone.  In my reading I learned that one way to physically release stress, besides exercise and deep breathing…is a 20 second hug.  The trick to this sort of hug though, is that both people need to be at their center of gravity, and the hug “squeeze” should be reciprocal. 

When I told my daughters about the magic of a 20 second hug, we practiced it and I thought that might be the end of it.  However, one afternoon during the last week of school my daughter came up to me and said, “Mom, I think I need a 20 second hug!”  She had been struggling with some anxiety and was desperate to tap into the magic of the 20 second hug. 

For one, I was amazed at her ability to reach into a tool box to find what she needed for her own healing.  But I was also struck that what she needed, she could not provide for herself…after all, we can’t hug ourselves.   I suppose when we meet others at our center of gravity with reciprocity, it’s not only about a hug, but it’s about helping heal one another.
-Katie Maynard

June 28, 2022 – Slide Puzzle

I am a huge fan of the show Survivor and always love when the challenges include a puzzle.  The producers and creators within that show come up with the most creative puzzles, but I think my favorite has always been the slide puzzle.  You know, the ones where everything is jumbled and you can only slide them up/down and left/right in order to get the pieces in their places.  Often it requires making the puzzle even more jumbled before the message or picture becomes clear.

I think this is true for my life as well – I get something into place in my life, only to have another piece slide out of picture/place.  The thing that I’m not so sure of is whether I will ever really get to see the full picture and “finish” the puzzle in life.  I think it may be more about constantly getting glimpses of what it might look like, and that maybe God only sees the finished puzzle.

The suffering then, is in the desperation I experience to feel like I have everything put together.  The pieces are constantly shifting and changing, so peace can only come from detaching myself form my own expectations and let God’s vision be what it will be…and just keep sliding.
-Katie Maynard


June 29, 2022 – Deep Roots

We recently had some tall Italian Cypress trees removed from our backyard, and it was fascinating to watch the arborists work.  If you have seen these trees before (perhaps lining the roads of Tuscany) you know that their tall and narrow trunks do not appear to be the sturdiest.  On the day these trees were removed, my daughters and I watched these men climb, anchoring themselves, setting up a pulley system, and removing branches as they worked their way up the tree with their harnesses.  As one of the arborists neared the top of the tree, he looked down at me and exclaimed, “The trunk is so skinny!”  I thought to myself in that moment, that for such a skinny trunk to hold this man so high up in the air, the roots must have gone very deep!

When things feel shaky or uncertain in life, it’s my roots that keep me grounded: my family and faith.  My mom once said to me that one of the greatest gifts that she ever received from my grandparents was the gift of her faith.  And now, generations later we continue to pass on the faith, creating a root system that is deep and expansive for our nourishment. 

Today, on the Feast of Saints Peter & Paul, I am filled with gratitude for the expression of my faith in this community, and I am reminded that there is no need to worry about skinny trunks when you have deep roots!
-Katie Maynard

June 30, 2022 – A World of Color

Recently we introduced our daughters to the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” to prepare them to see the musical “Wicked.”  At some point, just as Dorothy awoke in Oz and stepped out into Munchkinland, and the film turned to vibrant color, my daughter leaned over and whispered, “Mom, the movie is scarier when it’s in black and white.” 

Figuratively speaking, it’s true that when we see things in black and white, it limits our view and closes our mind to new and challenging ideas.  Based on my observations of teaching high school students, as we grow and mature, conversations become more colorful (especially conversations about faith, spirituality and church).  As we are challenged by our education and by the complexity of our lives, it becomes more difficult to see things in a strict duality.  I know it seems counterintuitive, but it’s actually when we add color and complexity to things, that it makes things less scary and more beautiful…just ask my daughter.
-Katie Maynard

July 1, 2022 – Slowing to a Stop

I have often used the metaphor of a bullet train when speaking about the school year – it whisks us away in August and then we’re thrown off the train into the summer, with our head spinning.  I acknowledge that one day, perhaps in my retirement, I may not be so affected by the frenetic rhythm of a school year.  That being said, I don’t think we need to talk about a school year to understand what it’s like to zoom through life as though we are on a bullet train.  Life can keep us moving so fast and singularly focused that we miss what is outside of our windows. 

The truth is, it takes at least one mile for a train to come to a complete stop, so even if we wanted for everything to “just stop” it’s not possible.  So, I think the question is not, “How can I stop this train?” but rather, “How can I slow this train to a stop?”  It’s what I’ve spent most of the beginning of my summer trying to do: a little more sleep, a little more prayer, and a lot more presence.  As things slow and creative space opens up, I begin to get my bearings, and find myself ready for what’s ahead…and for what’s outside of the train windows.
-Katie Maynard


July 2, 2022 – Trust Jesus!

Last week, my daughters participated in Vacation Bible School, which is always a favorite part of our summer…and this year was long awaited after a two-year hiatus.  I helped volunteer in the Bible Adventure room, and spent weeks preparing the room and scripts for each day so that the bible stories would come alive for the kids.  During the week, the hope was for the kids to encounter Jesus in Scripture in a fun and engaging way, and for them to make connections to their own lives.  

As we tried to drive home each day’s bible point, the kids’ response was “Trust Jesus!” This response made me think about how easy it is for us to talk about trusting Jesus but much more difficult it is to feel what it is like to trust Him.  If you’ve ever done a trust fall before, you know that falling backward on purpose is scary!  I think that is what it feels like to trust Jesus: a little scary, and yet I know that peace will come with the surrender of leaving things in His hands.  In the end it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone, and as one wise kindergartner exclaimed at the beginning of the VBS week, “Jesus is all around us!”  Lord, I pray that I may have the courage to fall into your arms, and trust you!
-Katie Maynard

July 3, 2022 – Savor

Summer is here, and as a teacher I have come to love summers at home with my girls.  Sure there is more refereeing between siblings and navigating the kids’ “boredom,” but it is always an opportunity to get back to basics.  It becomes time for a simplified routine, a few new chores, and reading for pleasure.  Of course there is adventure, swimming, and travel, but I think I have come to really love the day-to-day simplicity of the summer routine.  Summer vibes mean an opportunity to savor what is happening around me: I love slow mornings, and saying YES to the ice cream man; I love having my girls “helping” me around the house; and I love trips to the library and family reading time.

This same simplicity is reflected in the wisdom of our liturgical year and the beauty of Ordinary Time.  There might be a slower, more ordinary pace to this time…but it is also an opportunity to pay attention: to notice Jesus’ work in his teaching and healing ministry in our cycle of readings; to listen to the psalms; or to pay closer attention to the liturgy.

As we continue to move through Ordinary Time, I pray the same prayer for myself at home with my kids this summer: that my eyes may be open, that I may pay attention and notice God’s work in simplicity.
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for June 20-26, 2022
June 20, 2022 – Little Things

Last Good Friday I noticed the size of the Host that Father Bony raised for us to venerate during the service.  The Host was small, the size of the ones we usually receive at communion. Because there was no consecration at the Good Friday service, both the Host that was elevated and the ones we received were kept over from Holy Thursday.  The small size of this elevated Host spoke to me.  How little it seemed in comparison to the larger hosts we are accustomed to seeing during a regular Mass.  How insignificant it appeared.  How could something so unimportant in appearance be so life giving? 

I thought about the gospel stories about the Eucharist, as well as the stories of Jesus’ life and realized how consistent the message is, both visually and when proclaimed:  God is in the little, seemingly insignificant things.  Jesus was born in a stable.  During his ministry he had no set address. He chose to be with the working poor, the marginalized and the outcast.  He accomplished our salvation, not with the grand armies the Zealots were hoping for, but by dying on a cross like a common criminal.  He used small, insignificant, ordinary things in his miracles:  touch, words, spittle, water, bread and wine.  As I meditated on this, that small, insignificant Host became for me a visual experience of Jesus and his entire insignificant human life; insignificant, that is until the Resurrection taught us that God himself is present in small and seemingly unimportant things.
Jane Haproff
 

June 21, 2022 - God Is Here

I recently attended the Woman’s Parish Retreat. The theme was Finding God in All Things, and one of the suggested ways of doing that was simply to say “God is Here” in any circumstance.

A few nights ago, I could not sleep.  As I tossed and turned I became aware of certain things around me:  David’s breathing,  a breeze through the window causing the pocket door in the hallway to rattle, an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn’t reach, coyotes howling.  I remembered to acknowledge consciously that “God is here” and a certain calmness came over me.  Then my hip hurt, so I turned over and my nose got stuffy, the blanket was too heavy and just the sheet not enough, again “God is here” and more peace.  I heard some small animal bump against the outside of the house, a car alarm begin to beep which was quickly turned off, a train go by in the distance, a light drizzle beginning to fall and, yes, “God is here".

How strange to experience God in someone else’s breath, a breeze, a noisy door, an itch, pain, discomfort, heat, cold, and yes, even in car alarms in the middle of the night and people who tend to them immediately, a train, an animal, the rain…truly I experienced God with me in so many different ways and just when I became grateful for all of it I fell asleep.
Jane Haproff

June 22, 2022 - God Chose Me

In a homily recently, Fr. Bony reminded us that we were chosen by God.  My first reaction to this was a sense of joy, privilege, and responsibility.  Then I immediately wondered how that would sound to non -believers.  The ones I know might feel envy or anger - a sort of why you and not me.  I thought then about what it means to be chosen.  I liken it to having my 5^th grade teacher ask me to stay after school to help her clean blackboards and erasers, empty the trash and maybe help decorate a bulletin board.  I felt so “chosen”, but not necessarily favorite.  It was enough to be asked.

I once heard a priest describe it this way:
Imagine you have just died and been ushered through the Golden Gates to a marvelous banquet.  Every delicacy you can imagine is there on a table laden with crystal and gold.  Jesus comes up to you, welcomes you and with one arm around you shows you into the kitchen saying “My good friend, you have been working with me and for me all of your life.  I couldn’t wait until you got here to help me serve all these other people who didn’t know or believe I existed”.

Those who don’t believe still do God’s work in so many ways and are blessed for it.  They just don’t have the pleasure of knowing that they are working side by side in the kitchen with God.
Jane Haproff

June 23, 2022 – What God Do I Choose?

Yesterday I wrote about being chosen by God when I realized I also have a choice: I can choose my own image of God.  Many worldly gods are available to me:  money, career, family, culture, politics etc.  Kierkegaard, one of my favorite philosophers, even referred to our moral commitments as a kind of God.  But there are also many images of God within my Catholic beliefs.  There is the God of devotion, who wants to be appeased, worshiped and adored. There is the transactional God; the “I will say three rosaries if you put that baby back to sleep” kind of God.  There is the God who makes everything right, evening things out in some cosmic way. There is the God who makes rules and keeps records; the one Kierkegaard cautions us against.  There can also be a tendency to make the institutional Church itself into God instead of the Body of Christ.  And then there is St. John’s simple description of God:  Love.  These are only a few of the ways God is presented to us. And if I’m honest I have moved back and forth among them sometimes on the same day.  I intentionally chose the God of love, but there are so many distractions, so much bad news that it is very hard to dwell in God’s love.  Martin Buber, another favorite of mine, refers to the “eclipse of God”…that He is hidden behind a cloud of our own making. 

God of love, clear the skies and our minds that we may dwell in your light and love .
Jane Haproff

June 24, 2022 – Church

There are many different ways to think about “church”.  It can refer to a belief system, to a group of people, to a set of rituals and to a building.   Right now I’m thinking of the building or place itself.  One weekday morning I arrived for Mass early.  The Church was nearly empty and dimly lit. The chalice and paten had already been placed on the altar.  There was a quietness there that seemed to penetrate my being; a stillness that made me think of the hymn, “There Is a Presence in This Place.” I was able to experience quiet, with reminders all around me of sacredness:  the Tabernacle, the lit candle beside it, the chalice and paten…all pointing me to the richness our faith and the presence of God.  At Sunday Mass I again arrived a bit early and sat in the pew listening to the sounds of the Church filling with people:  kneelers being lowered, Missalette pages rustling, but mostly the sound of greetings, people glad to see one another and to be together, some laughter, shaking hands and hugs.  We were invited to formally greet those around us, and then join in the entrance song.  Let the liturgy begin…there is a presence in this place.
Jane Haproff

June 25, 2022 – Wind Chimes

These last few days have been breezy, with slight winds blowing gently and then gusting and dying down off and on all day.  We have two sets of wind chimes hanging on our front porch located parallel to each other and about eight feet apart.  What has been interesting for me to notice is that they don’t both chime at the same time.  It might be the case that one rings, and several minutes later the other one does, but they rarely chime together.  First, on the same set of wind chimes different notes sound at different times and then different sets of wind chimes ring at different times and with different tones but they all make a “beautiful noise”.  I’m sure someone can explain to me the subtle differences in air currents, but it made me think about us…the people of God as wind chimes. We are all hanging from the same string of beliefs and practices, yet our music rings out differently. We’re struck by the spirit differently and we make different music at different times, all trying to praise God, each in our own way and our own time.
Jane Haproff

June 26, 2022 - Sins vs Sin

Long ago in a theology class somewhere a priest remarked that we should be conscious that God took away the SIN of the world, the stain of sin… all of it.  But we pray “sins of the world” as if there were a container of sins that God was concerned with.  Ever since then I’ve prayed “Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world”.  As I was thinking about this at Mass recently an important difference between the two became clear.  I thought about what I personally mean when I say the “sin of the world” and I found myself thinking it was a bit impersonal.  Sin is what is wrong with the world.  It’s an abstract, universal, chronic condition that affects us all: sin, as if we can’t escape it especially in our neighbors.  However when I said “sins of the world” I was aware of my own wrong doing.  It became very personal…the stuff of “what I have done and what I have failed to do”.  It’s not a chronic condition, it’s something I have a choice about.  And though it is true that I continue to sin, it is also true that the stain is gone and I, with my sinfulness, have been redeemed.
Jane Haproff

Reflections for June 13-19, 2022
June 13, 2022—Re(creation)

One of my wife’s “bucket list” items was to see Niagara Falls.  I had previously been there twice, but not for over 20 years.  In early May, my wife and I, along with another couple, flew to Niagara Falls and spent a week on the Canadian side, staying in the small village of Niagara on the Lake, about 10 miles north of the Falls.

The highlight of our trip was seeing the Falls.  A spectacular wonder, they touched all our senses from seeing their beauty to hearing their strong roar to experiencing the falls on the Maid of the Mist boat (it was like being baptized). We couldn’t help but ask, “How could anyone look at the Falls and not believe in God?” 

Throughout our stay, we enjoyed beautiful weather and were welcomed everywhere we went.  We learned that the Niagara, Canada area is situated in a beautiful wine country.  Niagara on the Lake had a small downtown area with excellent restaurants and home to an annual theatre festival.  Our hotel offered a beautiful view of the Niagara River and Lake Ontario, and the vicinity had beautiful walking trails surrounded by colorful tulips in full bloom.  The area was very historical, playing a prominent role in the War of 1812.  I marveled at how American and British citizens, once enemies at war, had become good friends.

Every now and then, a vacation can be magical.  We seemed to be (re)created in the backyard of God’s own beautiful creation.

Bob Leathers

June 14, 2022—Liturgies—Part I

The word “liturgy” means “the work of the people.”  As the new deacon and also as new parishioners, my wife, Cindy, and I have observed how much “work” by so many “people” goes into the celebration of our Sunday masses.  (In the Eastern Catholic churches, Sunday masses are called “Divine Liturgies.”)

In my previous parishes, both before and after I was ordained a deacon, it seemed like one or just a few people did all the work.  As a deacon, sometimes I needed to arrive early to open the sacristy, put out the vessels and other items needed for mass, turn on the sound system, and do any other “last minute” preparations.  At SS. Peter & Paul, my experience has been so different.  When I assist as a deacon, I really only need to show up and get vested.  Everything is already done.  Wow!

We are so blessed to have a wonderful Coordinator of RCIA and Liturgy, Coordinator of Music, and a group of committed volunteers to serve as Mass Coordinators, EM Coordinators, Ushers, Readers, EMs, Altar Servers, Greeters, musicians and singers, and AV and Live-stream projectionists. (Apologies for forgetting anyone.)  At SS. Peter & Paul, our masses—our liturgies—are truly the work of the people.  Eucharist means “thanksgiving,” and the Leathers family is grateful for such good liturgies at our new parish.

Bob Leathers

June 15, 2022—Liturgies—Part II

The Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies at SS. Peter & Paul gave me pause to reflect on these services, among the most solemn and holy of the year.  This year the words that came to my mind were inspiring, uplifting and prayerful.  Perhaps it was because we really couldn’t celebrate them in a suitable manner for the past three years due to the pandemic.  But this year, these liturgies were special, the best I’ve ever attended both before and after being ordained a deacon.

Our Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies were truly the “work of the people” of our parish.  Many hours were spent in planning, drafting the scripts, selecting and practicing the music, and conducting multiple rehearsals.  The scripts included brief explanations, particularly for the three movements of the Triduum which spanned the time from the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday to the celebration of Christ’s passion on Good Friday, to the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday evening.

I was moved and blessed to be part of these wonderful celebrations and liturgies, and grateful for the work and contributions of our staff and volunteers.

Bob Leathers

June 16, 2022—Does Persistence Pay Off?

A few years ago in middle school (smile!), my favorite subject was math.  I was taking both second year algebra and geometry courses.  I had a string of A’s going but found myself on the cusp of receiving a B for the first time.  I really liked my math teacher, so it happened that as the grading period was ending, we both happened to be at the local grocery store.  I followed him around while he was shopping, pleading my case for an A.  I guess this is no different than a child following their mother around a toy store, wearing her out while her child explains over and over again in painstaking detail why he or she needs this or that toy.  And if you didn’t get what you wanted, it’s easy to conclude that your parent or teacher was not fair.

This story has been a reminder to be persistent in our pursuits, and especially so in the face of injustice.  Over time, I’ve learned that the pursuit of justice is not a one-person show; we need the help of companions and the action of our community.  It challenges us to ask: Do we stand by while others pursue justice, or do we also get involved?

By the way, I did get the A in my math class and over the years, my teacher taught me a lot more than math.  When Cindy and I got married, my math teacher was the best man at our wedding!

Bob Leathers

June 17, 2022—Community
When Cindy and I moved to Roseville in mid-2020, we not only missed the Bay Area locale, but also the communities of which we were a part.  These included our parish, diaconate and our respective work communities.  Initially, the pandemic didn’t make it easy to become part of new communities in the Roseville area.

Once we moved into our home in Roseville, things started to fall in place.  We became part of a neighborhood group consisting of 20 or so families.  One neighbor hosts a men’s coffee every week, and most of us take turns bringing breakfast goodies.  Cindy and the other women get together monthly for a bunko night.  Another community has been SS. Peter & Paul.  We have been so graciously welcomed.  I’ve been invited to our parish’s Cursillo men’s reunions, and both Cindy and I are blessed to be part of the Sacramento diaconate community, too.

We still miss the communities we had in the Bay Area.  Cindy still hosts our former parish’s Women’s Book Club every two months on Zoom!  But we are overjoyed at becoming a part of our new communities.  In addition to the social activities, members support each other.  When a neighbor recently had surgery, neighbors took turns making dinner each night for a week.  And we’ve also helped each other with rides to the airport. 

Our communities bring us life and we are very grateful.  As the Lord speaks to us in Genesis, we are not meant to be alone.

Bob Leathers

June 18, 2022—Life’s Curve Balls
A few years before my father passed away, my mother was diagnosed with dementia.  Eventually she needed a walker in the house and a wheelchair if she went out.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s are diseases that eat away at memory and the body’s motor skills.  It’s not easy to watch a parent or someone you love suffer from such diseases.  It’s also not easy to care for them when you are an only child.

Friends and family encouraged me.  They said, “Have faith.  Don’t be afraid of your cross.  In caring for your parents, you are caring for Christ.”  (Jesuit Father James Martin once quoted a nun whose illness confined her to a wheelchair for many years.  When the Mother Superior encouraged her to imitate Jesus in carrying her cross, the nun quipped, “Jesus only had to carry his cross for a few hours.”)

Fortunately, I had supportive friends and family.  I was able to hire a caretaker to spend weekdays with my parents.  Occasionally, she stayed overnight so I could get away.  After my father passed away, I had a friend who took me on a trip to Boston (my favorite city) to get away for a weekend.

Looking back, I could see that my friends were correct.  In caring for my parents, I was caring for Christ.  But I could only see that after they had died.  The paradox of our faith is that the cross is the path to life, the sign of God’s enormous, incomprehensible love for us. 

Bob Leathers

June 19, 2022—This Is Us
Yesterday, I reflected on my mother’s dementia.  Today, I’m reflecting on a TV family’s struggle with dementia, poignantly conveyed in the NBC series, This Is Us. NBC recently aired the series’ final episode.  Much of the final season dealt with Rebecca Pearson’s (played by Mandy Moore) dementia, and the difficult decisions her three children, Kevin, Randall and Kate, faced as Rebecca’s dementia worsened.

Each sibling had a different idea of where their mom should spend her last days.  When the siblings met at the family home in Pittsburgh, they argued about the best approach.  Kevin and Randall wanted to move Rebecca to their homes in Los Angeles and Philadelphia, respectively, but the two brothers wouldn’t listen to each other and pushed back on Kate’s approach, while acknowledging their mom appointed Kate to be Rebecca’s guardian.  But Kate had observed that her brothers never looked into their mom’s eyes when they spoke with her and never touched her.  If they couldn’t look at or touch her, why would anything change if Rebecca moved in with one of them?  Challenged by Kate, Kevin offered to move his family from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh and live in Rebecca’s home.  This solved the dilemma.  

Rebecca’s dementia brought her three children together.  This moving and poignant episode made me reflect on how much we need to support each other in the face of a crippling illness and how the power of love can restore hope when everything seems hopeless.

Bob Leathers

Reflections for June 6-12, 2022
June 6, 2022 - Motherhood and Mary as Our Model
Being a mother is my greatest achievement and one that brings joy and pain sometimes all at once. Raising teenagers is not easy, let alone three of them at once. When the kids were 4, 3, and 1, life was busy, chaotic but full.  As the kids turn 18, 17, 14, and 10 (bonus baby) I am aware again of how chaotic, busy, and full our lives are.  We are richly blessed with health, stable income, and activities abounding,  but on occasion my teen(s) and I may struggle to agree on expectations or deliverables.  It’s then that I ponder how Mary would handle this situation.  How would she handle a miscommunication or dispute with Jesus?   She was steady, grounded in God’s truth and love even when she saw her Son die on the cross..  Her love for God and her Son did not diminish despite the pain.  She did not have an ego of “my Son” or allow her feelings to cloud submitting to God’s will.
When I get to the heart of the issue in a dispute and am over my hurt feelings about our miscommunication, I go back to “speak truth with love.”  I am reminded by Mary’s example that truth has no ego; truth has no feelings; truth is inherently what God calls us to seek – seek him in all ways through truth and love. 
Bianca Hennager

June 7 2022 - Miracles in Our Midst
Fourteen years ago our family with three small children moved up to the Sacramento area when my husband accepted a teaching position up here. My husband took a slight pay cut to move here as we wanted to be near family and fell in love with the area when we visited.  Working out the details of the pay cut didn’t seem insurmountable, but the cost of benefits nearly broke us.  It was 2008 and most school districts stopped paying 100% benefits to new hires. My husband was tenured at his previous school so we had 100% of our benefits paid.  Having to pay for benefits for a whole family was eye opening.  I remember pinching more pennies than I would have liked just to keep the lights on.  One small miracle that came around this time was undelivered mail.  My aunt had sent us card on the birth of our daughter in August, but we never received it.  I thought it was lost in the mail.  Finances grew exceptionally tight especially as the Holidays approached, when a pleasant surprise showed up in our mail.  It was my Aunt’s card stamped “insufficient postage” requires $0.25 additional postage.  Someone paid the postage for us and in the card there was a very generous gift card which helped us finance our kids’ Christmas!    I know if we had received the card when it was originally intended it would not have been spent on gifts for the holidays.  The timing of this generous gift was truly miraculous and something I will never forget.
Bianca Hennager

June 8, 2022 - Courage under Change
The end of the school year has come, and with it a lot of change, and not only on the home front.  My oldest leaves for college, another daughter enters high school, and I was recently asked to lead a department that is struggling with changes within the business.  I was excited at the opportunity to lead a new team.  But shortly into the role, I realized it would be a heavy undertaking to help eight leaders adjust to the necessary fast- paced rate of change.  Several on the team were also struggling with personal stressors outside of work which compounded their resistance to change in the workforce.   I worked individually with each leader to identify specific obstacles and I committed to resolve each of them.  I was mentally and physically exhausted by this.  Typically, I would spend 12 hours a day trying to meet the needs of each of my team members.  As the leader of leaders, I felt alone in my vision of what I saw each leader capable of. My boss was encouraging when I became weary and worn down.  It takes a lot of courage to lead others in the ways that are needed to make change.  Some days I questioned if it was worth all the sacrifice and time spent on lifting others up. 
We are still amid change and transformation but some of the team leaders are helping to lift others up on the team.  I am continually surprised by how God uses each of us to help carry out his Divine Plan whether we recognize it in the moment or not. 
Bianca Hennager

June 9, 2022 - Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord
“Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.  I want to see you.”  Seeing the Lord with our heart  helps us to open our eyes.  When things seem impossible and unlikely God can move mountains.  Right after graduating college and coming home I began a Young Adult Ministry at my local Church.  I remember speaking after one of the Masses about the need for volunteers for an upcoming eveny we were hosting when I saw a young gentleman standing towards the back of the Church.  I personally invited him to the event and asked for his commitment.  He was taken aback by my direct nature but hesitantly agreed.  Upon arriving at the event, I thanked him for coming and put him to work.  He had so much fun serving and helping that the next time he didn’t need an invitation.  I saw how he became more involved in our Ministry and in Church in general.  About 5 years later, he was serving at the Archdiocesan level as an advisory member and still very involved in our local Church.  I asked him one day what made him decide to become so involved.  He commented that it was from being personally called to serve.  The experience which was happen stance on my part of seeing someone and personally inviting him to serve was life changing for him.  I do not take the credit for his experience as I felt it was the Holy Spirit moving through me to help open his eyes to what the Lord was calling him to do.  Being able to witness years later how he continued to minister to others was such a blessing.    
Bianca Hennager

June 10, 2022  - End of School Year Drain
The end of the school year is filled with lots of events and a race to the finish line.  As we draw closer to the finish line, I am drained.  Each morning is a challenge to get the kiddos out the door to school on time; breakfast is skipped or rushed and eaten on the run; and dinner is mostly out unless there is a fast option at home.  In these moments it is hard to see God at work in my life.  Everything seems like a grind with little joy.  And then I am reminded of the freedom of summer days:  sleeping in, long days at the pool; sun burns that turn into suntans; simple dinners; and popsicles.  That helps propel me to get through the end of the year.  And all the while God is inviting me to spend more time with him in this busy time.  I am reminded of a saying, “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer daily, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”  It is in my busy moments that I need to stop and focus on what truly matters – spending time with Jesus in prayer.  I make the time when I’m in the car or in little breaks throughout the day.  I am looking forward to a little retreat this summer where I can spend time in prayer with our Lord and be surrounded by other faith filled women to help me grow in my faith.  I hope to be energized by this experience and to be able to give back to others who may need the same thing.
Bianca Hennager
June 11, 2022 - What Is “Good”?

When I use the word “good” it seems like such a bland descriptive term yet so hard to embody.  I remember when I taught upper elementary we would have words that we would “ban” the use of in writing since they are often over used.  Good was one of those words.  Nice was another word added to the list.  As a class we came up with other more descriptive words to help depict what the author was trying to convey.  When I think. “what does it mean to be ‘good’” so many things come to mind.   A good upright person of faith is someone who seeks the Lord, prays, holds their tongue, listens with an open heart, and is a witness to what the Gospel preaches.  The saints had all of these traits and more.  As a follower of Christ I work to embody these qualities – some days it’s harder than others.  As a parent, I try to instill the importance of these qualities in my children.  As a spouse I try to witness to these qualities to help my spouse.  Often I question how a person who is on the journey of faith can speak of what is good when they are still learning it.  It comes down to not only being able to speak about what is good but striving to live a life that is good.  I fall short many days and I work to make amends for my many shortcomings.  I pray that my family can see my efforts and know that I am full of good intentions. 
Bianca Hennager

June 12, 2022 - Holy Trinity Sunday
God the Father is easy to relate to as I have a father.  God the Son is easy to relate to as I have a son.  God the Holy Spirit – who is that exactly?  As I recall the beautiful mystery of the Holy Trinity it is something that confounds me and is something I work to relate to.  It is easy to speak of the “Spirit” as somethone that moves throughout my life, bringing gifts and fruits. But I find it easier to focus on the tangibles or things that make sense.  The gifts of the Holy Spirit and fruits of the Holy Spirit are two things that help to guide me in knowing God the Holy Spirit better.  I wonder if there is more that I am missing?  I know that this is one of our greatest mysteries of faith. I know that God will make known all the questions that I have stored away in my mind when the time comes.  For now, I accept it as a mystery and not something that I fully understand. 
Believing in something that I don’t fully understand reminds me of the saying “the blind will see”.  I may be blind to knowing, but one day I will see.  One day it will all make sense, and it is okay that it doesn’t all make sense now.  As a questioner and worrier this can be hard for me at times.  It is during those moments that I call upon Our Father to help guide me and to help me be at peace with not knowing.  As we celebrate Holy Trinity Sunday may we revel in this mystery of faith knowing God is amazing and can do all. 
Bianca Hennager

Reflections for May 30-June 5, 2022

May 30, 2022 - Physical Meets Spiritual

A wise cross-country coach taught me how to improve my running times and distance. He suggested that I aim for a landmark and tag it when I reach it. I would choose a rock, tree or road sign to mark a turnaround point or distance achieved. The importance of this practice was to physically touch the landmark when I arrived. I still use this technique. I have a stop sign at the top of a challenging hill that I hit with great satisfaction when I reach the top, out of breath and spent. When I feel like quitting, I look ahead to a tree that I want to reach and when I do I rub my hand along the bark of the trunk to prove to myself that I made it.

I related this concept recently when discussing the sacraments at a retreat that I attended. We were discussing how physically receiving God’s blessing makes our connection with him more tangible. I’m able to hold the body of Christ in my hands during my weekly celebration of the Eucharist. My children were able to feel and smell the oil used in confirmation on their foreheads. I’m reminded of the marriage sacrament when I twist the wedding ring around my finger. I watched my infants get emerged in the holy water of baptism.

The physical can bring the spiritual. The goal may not be a faster 5K but a closeness to Christ. What can we be physically and tangibly doing to achieve this?
Jen Payan

May 31, 2022 - Family Vacations
Being the CEO of family operations, I’m often overwhelmed when planning family vacations. The amount of organizing, planning, and preparation is daunting. I carefully select our accommodations for comfort and activities that will keep everyone busy and engaged. I want everyone to be happy and satisfied. I spend much time planning and worrying that everything will be up to my family’s expectations.

After reflecting on the stress associated with vacation planning, I decided to do a quick text survey inquiring from each member what their most memorable moments on vacations over the years have been. What was interesting is that not one of them mentioned the quality of the accommodations, activities, or meals. But they all mentioned times that we all laughed together. The most popular response recalled an incident in which we all laughed until we cried. It involved a swan, a patio of quiet diners, and a flatulent member of our family trying to blame it on the swan- if you must know. They also mentioned witnessing nature - seeing baby monkeys in a tree, discovering sand dollars, and making it to the top of a ridge overlooking the ocean.

This is a great reminder of God’s intentions for our family time together. He wants us to laugh and find joy. He wants us to enjoy his creation. He probably isn’t terribly concerned about the logistics.  He gave us our families to be in communion with him and each other. The take home: enjoy the moments, drop the pressure of perfection.
Jen Payan

June 1, 2022 - The Peter in All of Us
This Lenten season, I was reminded of my love for the apostle Peter. He loves Jesus with such great intensity and is always striving to be close with him and do what Jesus asks. However, he often falls short.

After pledging his love to Jesus during the Last Supper, he claims himself a devoted disciple but then asks Jesus who is the greatest among his apostles, trying to get the “you are my favorite” wink from Jesus. Jesus immediately calls him out on his pride. Then after pledging his complete faithfulness to Jesus, Peter folds under pressure and denies that he even knows him.

My favorite Peter story is when Jesus comes to the disciples’ rescue during a storm by walking across the water to reach their boat. Peter impulsively leaps from the boat to meet Jesus, believing he will surely be able to walk toward his teacher. Unfortunately, as soon as his feet hit the water he becomes afraid and starts to sink. He cries out “Lord save me!” Jesus reaches out, catches him, and asks “why did you doubt?” He says “you of little faith” to Peter. While Peter’s heart so confident in Jesus’ love he still had that moment of fear and insecurity.

Don’t I often act as Peter did?  I love and trust in God, but as soon as fear, doubt or grief set in I begin to waiver. But I think scripture makes it clear, especially when telling the story of Peter’s relationship with Jesus, that I am always going to be forgiven, loved, encouraged, and corrected by God.
Jen Payan
 
June 2, 2022 - Fire
My husband recently retired after 30 years in the fire service. People often ask him what fighting fire was like. Most have the Hollywood perspective:  charging into a burning room with water and axes, looking for victims who they triumphantly save.

Real firefighters tell a different story. Entering a burning building is a blind experience. The room is dark with smoke. Walls guide them in a crawl, searching the rooms, feeling for victims who have often succumbed to smoke, not knowing if they are alive or not. Rescuers are laden with heavy equipment and air tanks and constantly fight disorientation. They just work diligently to find their way back to the point of entry to deliver victims to medics standing by.

Recently, fire departments have started using thermal imaging cameras. While they are still trained to work in the blind, these cameras have given them the gift of vision and light. They use the camera to scan the room intermittently during a search, improving their orientation and ability to spot a victim and get them both safely to the exit.

I feel that is what letting God into your life can do. I know that he provides the light and security I need, but often I ignore it and grope around in the dark. The stress and pressure can be enormous when I act without his help. He has given all of us access to the gift of his light. I just need to remember to keep it in my tool bag!  Are you ready to start using your God imagining camera?
Jen Payan


June 3, 2022 - Tattoos
I’ve seen many tattoos in my 30 years as a nurse and EMT, from the humorous to the artistic to the offensive. And, the tattoo might give me a little insight into who this person is.

I recall caring for a trauma victim in the ICU that was in a coma on a ventilator with some very disturbing tattoos displaying racism and hate. Large swastikas covered the back of his head and chest. Staff immediately took offense. We did our best to provide compassionate care, but it wasn’t easy.

 After this patient recovered and was discharged, a physician friend of mine shared a story with. At this man’s follow up visit to his office, the man asked “do my tattoos offend you?” My friend answered truthfully, “yes, they do. I’m Jewish and it is very hard to see the swastikas on your skin.” To my friend’s surprise, the man apologized, saying he had gotten the tattoos during a difficult time in his life and they no longer reflected his values. He now had to live with them. My friend accepted the apology and was moved by the man’s story.

What an amazing lesson! I had been seething in anger and hurt since my first contact with this man. The tattoos had defined him. I had not taken the time to hear his story because I had already judged him. I know situations like these are gifts from God that help change my heart and mind. He is constantly teaching me ways to be more Christian.
Jen Payan

June 4, 2022 - By Myself!

One of my daughters was so terribly independent as a child that I think her first words were “by myself!” She insisted on picking her own outfits, dressing herself, and putting on shoes without assistance. She would refuse a hand when climbing a tree or balancing on a narrow beam. Of course, this led to accidents – a broken arm falling off a short retaining wall, a black eye from swinging a golf club, to name a few. Never mind the crimes against fashion.

I know many parents reading this are relating right now. You know, the one kid that gave you a heart attack at the park when they tried standing on top of the swing set? Or that you lost track of at the store and found them wandering the isles on their own? What about the one who would only push their own stroller and never sit in it? As a parent, these experiences are both terrifying and infuriating at the same time. So much patience and calmness are required to parent our independent little ones. Yet, we still want them to have adventures, make their own decisions, and be daring. We just long for their safety and wellbeing.

I imagine that is how our God the Father feels about caring for us.  He has given us all free will and an amazing creation to live in. And, He wants me to experience it, but not necessarily “by myself.” He wants to protect and care for me. He wants to help me thrive. I need to remember to reach up and grab his hand when he offers it.  Asking for help from him just makes me stronger and keeps me safe.
Jen Payan

June 5, 2022 - Not Enough
Recently, while studying the book of Exodus with my bible study group, I was part of many discussions about the complex character of Moses. Many of us were astounded by his transformation from an insecure young man to one of the strongest leaders of the Israelites. What we found most relatable was his initial doubt in his abilities when he was called by God. Even after getting a personal invitation (via burning bush) from God to lead his people he still didn’t have the confidence to take the position. Many times he voiced his insecurities to God. “I’m not a good speaker” and “nobody is going to listen to me.” But God himself was telling Moses that he was capable.

How many times have I felt I was “not enough?” Or have I felt that I didn’t have what it takes to get through a challenging situation? Through the story of Moses, God is assuring me that He will always provide us with the skills and talents to help us. Especially if we are receiving a call from him.
Jen Payan

Reflections for May 23-29, 2022
May 23, 2022 – Busy
Earlier this year I found myself busy being involved in many different activities and there was still more that I wanted to do. Some of the things I wanted to do conflicted with other commitments I had already made, and I couldn’t do it all. It was a stressful time being as busy as I was, while also being a sad time since I couldn’t do it all. Reflecting on this, I realized that it’s important to accept that sometimes you can’t do everything you want to, whether it’s because of time conflicts or the inability to handle everything, and that is ok. As for dealing with the stresses of having a lot to do in a short time, I need to remind myself that I can only do one thing at a time. Oftentimes, if I look at my calendar and see a lot of meetings, events, rehearsals, etc., I tend to stress out about not having enough time to just relax. Sometimes I have things on my calendar that are supposed to be fun and should be things I look forward to, but instead of looking forward to it, I stress about the planning I need to do or the other responsibilities I have before or after those days. I need to take things one day at a time and enjoy every moment as they come. After all, even God didn’t create the universe all in one day!
Heidi Schuyler

May 24, 2022 – Masks
This past year I volunteered to lead a Youth and Family Faith class. This is not my first year volunteering, but this time was different from the past. Because of COVID-19, everyone had to wear a mask during class time. I had no complaints about this because I believe everyone’s safety is very important. However, I found that the masks made it difficult to connect to the students. I had a hard time figuring out if they were following me as I talked, if they were bored, or if they were getting something out of the class. I didn’t know if I was doing a decent job engaging them in discussion. Many of the students in my group rarely participated in discussion and I didn’t know if they were just shy or if they didn’t care. One day, after I made some take-away points on a discussion question, I decided to ask if what I said made sense to them and if they agreed or disagreed because everyone kept quiet. Some of the students nodded in agreement, and one let me know that they’re all just taking it in and processing it in their own way. That was good to know and helped me feel better. The challenges that I had with my class reinforce the idea that facial cues are very important for human connection and I pray for a day when COVID-19 can completely be seen in the rearview mirror.
Heidi Schuyler

May 25, 2022 – Energy
My parents have told me stories of adventures they  took before I was born. Once they spontaneously took a road trip from Sacramento to Utah without even stopping. They told me that they had so much energy when they were younger but now could no longer take such a trip at their age. Being about the same age that they were at that time, I reflected on how I don’t feel like the energy I have now matches what they used to have. I am always tired and I don’t want to do anything most of the time. I often must force myself to get out of the house and exercise. I wondered why I and many of my peers lack the energy that our parents’ generation seemed to have at our age, and I think it has to do with the fast-paced world we’re living in now. In the past, when we didn’t have computers and all the other technology we have today, completing various tasks for work or school took longer and expectations of the time it should take were lower. Now we live in a fast-paced world where everything is at our fingertips, and more is expected of us. The stress from all of this can be overwhelming and make us more tired. I think a good solution to this problem is finding time to relax and destress at the end of every week – even God needed to take time for rest after creating the universe!
Heidi Schuyler


May 26, 2022 – Prayer
There are so many ways for us to pray; my favorite is just simply talking to God. In prayer, I like to thank Him for the many blessings He has given me, give Him praise, and express to Him my fears and frustrations. I also often ask for guidance in certain situations when I don’t know what to do. When I ask for clarity, I hope to hear an answer from Him but I usually don’t get it. I started to think that maybe I don’t get answers sometimes because I’m not opening my ears and heart. Sometimes I’m afraid of the answer I think I will get because that answer might be that what I want is not good for me or I might be told I’m called to do something that I don’t want to do. Because of this, I think I often don’t spend extra time in silence waiting for an answer from God when I pray. In prayer, I ask the Lord for answers to my questions and problems but then I have trouble opening myself up to accept them. So I pray: Open my ears, Lord. Help me to hear your voice.
Heidi Schuyler

May 27, 2022 – Rejection
Rejection is a reality that we all face in life. It is something that I experienced recently. It always stings and is disappointing, but I must remember Matthew 21:42: “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” Although Jesus was rejected by the Jewish people and crucified, He became the cornerstone of our Church and faith. A lot of good can come out of rejection. In some cases, a rejection can push me to look at ways I can improve myself and maybe be successful next time. In other cases, nothing may need to be improved and a rejection could just mean that a better opportunity that I don’t know about yet will present itself later. When one door closes, another one opens. I have to trust that when things don’t work out the way I want, it is either because I can learn from it, or God has a better plan for me.
Heidi Schuyler


May 28, 2022 – Light Up the Darkness
I have been hearing more and more news about mass shootings and other violent crimes lately, including the recent news of a racially motivated mass shooting at a supermarket in Buffalo, NY. When I think about the lives lost, I am filled with both anger and sadness for the hate and evil in the world. I want these horrible acts to be put to an end, but I don’t know how I can personally stop them. When you are only one person, it can seem like nothing you do will be enough to make a change, but this is not true. Just as the Easter candle is lit from the fire at the Easter Vigil each year and the flame is passed on from person to person until all candles are lit, so can our own lights be passed on from person to person until the whole world is lit up and darkness is conquered. We may have a long way to go until this is achieved, but it all starts with a single candle. I can start by being sure to show kindness and love to others whenever I see someone in need, in both big and small ways.
Heidi Schuyler

May 29, 2022 – Return
In today’s first reading (Acts 1:1-11), Jesus ascended into heaven and two men dressed in white garments appeared and said, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.” In reading this, I imagined Jesus returning to Earth the same way he left to go to heaven. What a magnificent sight that would be for anyone who witnesses it some day! I don’t know when Jesus’s second coming will be and it most probably will not be in my lifetime. But if it were to occur during my lifetime, I would feel so honored if I had the chance to witness His descent onto Earth. I’m sure I would be filled with much awe and wonder. Though I don’t know when Jesus will return, while we wait, I pray that I may prepare myself by loving all people, making a difference in the lives of others, and following Jesus wherever He leads me throughout my life.
Heidi Schuyler